drowned

I

WENT

RUNNING

okay well I ran then walked then sprinted and then almost passed out and finally walked home.

BUT

it's something better than lounging around thinking about working out.

After I peeled myself off the floor from under the fan (oh yea, running on a 30+ degree day with hummidity that makes it feel like you're drowning is a swell idea) I did some arms and abs.

Then after showering I went on a bike ride to the super market with my sister where I repeated my new mantra "skinny people don't eat _____ (insert junk food craving of choice)".

However this did not apply to the bottle of wild vines I bought and later consumed (alone).

Common, we all know those skinny bitches drink away their hunger pangs.

Unfortunately I can't go all gung-ho crash dieting right now since my amazing and gorgeous friend is getting married IN A WEEK.

I had my final dress fitting for my bridesmaid dress and it literally could not fit more perfectly. I have no room to expand without running the risk of extending the slit up the back of it.

So

after the wedding I'm going to try the P90X program since I'm too broke to afford a trainer. This way I've got something telling me what to do.

I think I'll put recordings of drill sergeants and arnold swagherwewerneggar onto my ipod so I have someone yelling at me to "MOVE MY PANSY LARD-ASS".

I'll keep you posted.

the treat drawer

I'm stuck in a strange place.

In three weeks is my best friend's wedding where I am a bridesmaid and an MC.

The dress has been fitted and I can't afford to pay for the seams to be taken in, so while I would love to starve and sweat my ass off for the next 3 weeks to see what would happen, I'd rather it not cost me an extra $100 (btw the job hunt is more of a field trip).

I'm trying to be healthier though.

Fat has now accumulated on my face, and wiping sweat from neck rolls doesn't really scream SUMMER FUN.

Neither does the sweat on my upper lip and the sweat from front to back in the seat of my knickers.

But alas, my hands are conspiring with my tummy and I've managed to demolish a package of beer nuts.

280 calories for 1/3 cup.

The sad thing is that I don't have a job, I have a gym membership and a mother who was a fitness instructor. I have free time, enough free weights and workout dvds and equipment at home and a membership to a gym I could walk to.

I also have a dad who thinks I don't know the secret location of his treat drawer....

werkin it

Kelly and I have both gotten jobs so we have been too exhausted from the change in our lifestyle to post anything.

On the positive side Kelly has dropped 5 pounds since she's now forced to do manual labour for money and has no time to eat.

I've got crazy/weird hours and spend my day outside talking to strangers.

Contrary to the types of jobs we've both landed, we're actually very skilled and very employable.

We have references.

Also, for anyone who thinks the WiiFit is a scam, try one. Trust me when you wake up the next morning and muscles you didn't know even existed are hurting you'll think otherwise.

Plus there's nothing like having a machine tell you you're fat.

A scale is one thing, but I've always found scales to be somewhat sympathetic.

I 've realized it's because they don't have voices that talk to you.

One of my very best friends got a WiiFit, so I went over, created myself a character, spent time picking out the different options to make it look as much like me as possible.

Go into the WiiFit game and it initiates me by weighing me and doing a BMI, to have a starting point to track my progress from.

THEN after it weighs me, my little me character gets FAT. It actually ADDS SIZE to your little person to represent how fat you are.

and not even in the right places! I HAVE CURVES DAMNIT! NOT A FRONT GUNT!

and the machine tells me i'm actually 34.

I'll show you machine.

Just you wait....

stepping stool

I RESISTED LAST NIGHT!

I went to my friend Ashley's and we decided to get a treat, so I got a caramel sundae from McDonalds (NO BIG MACS!! hahahahahah)

and then we went back to her house and baked

CUPCAKES

COOKIES

and BROWNIES

okay I caved and ate a ball of cookie dough and a cupcake but it could have been way worse.

I also tried on my bridesmaid's dress for her upcoming wedding this summer. I think that was good motivation for not eating the treats.

oh and the fact that the dog was standing on my stomach fat to lean out the window.

yea

standing on my stomach roll.

felt as good as it sounds.

flip

I've been doing well lately

Now that I've finished school and have no job I'm pretty much stuck at home.

Which makes me crazy.

Literally I start talking to my pets. They don't think I'm as funny as I do.

Then I jump at any chance to get out of the house, which usually involves getting food.

Tuesday was a really bad night.

My dad bought me KFC for dinner, and I ate it, even though I already had plans to go out to McDonalds with Ashley.

You can't turn down free food when you're as broke as I am (earlier that day I had dumped all my coins into a coin counting machine so that I could pay my cell phone bill.sad)

Since then I've done better though. Wednesday Kelly rescued me from babysitting and we went for a nice long walk at the beach, and then had strawberries, no fat jello and fat-free coolwhip.

It was "fatass" sized portions.

I'm still not on the workout bandwagon, but there's nothing like male rejection to make you bitter and ready to get that hot body.

So tonight we're going out with the girls.

Better believe I'll be wearing some SPANX under my dress.

sick.

I didn't eat well today.

I didn't exercise.

I've got a cold and I feel like ass. I still ate a ton though. I hate that even when I am horribly sick I still eat. I hear other people talk about how they lose their appetites when they're ill but this does not happen to me. Gah. I can vomit than still eat 5 minutes later. My mind/body just always wants to eat. EAT.EAT.EAT...

On Saturday I did a workout video! I am still sore.


It was good. Bob is cute and nice, but I think I need Jillian's bitchiness to really push me...It's actually one of the better videos I've ever done. I like that there's other not perfect-bodied people doing the exercises, makes me feel better about myself....but than I realize that even though most of them are bigger than me, they could do all the moves with much more ease than me. I am very out of shape.

OH MAH GAWD

ALRIGHT

enough is enough

I don't know what i'm waiting for. Do I need someone to sign me up for biggest loser in order to get me into this? (if there's someone on it like this season's Sam then please do. I'd run for that)

I saw this reebok commercial last night, and hot DAMN!!

I thought I had pretty sexy legs and a decent derrier, but I have been schooled.

Never had I been so inspired/envious/turned on by a shoe commercial.

Not even jimmy choo has made me feel this way about what I put on my feet.

Not only do i now want a pair of those smexy sneaks but I WANT THAT ASS!

no homo.

oh and I ate another big mac today.

eff off.