jailbait

awesome

160 lbs

I'm gaining weight at orca speed.

Just open my huge jaws and let the food swim right into my trap.

Last night I ate 3 hot dogs.

Didn't even try to justify it.

*this was after I had a HUGE slice of pizza and then a box of taters the night before. I'm still burping up hot dog and pizza. gross.

I did wait until my mom wasn't looking before I downed the last one.

Last thing she saw me eating was a large bowl of salad so I'm sure she was proud.

Apparently I'd rather eat too much food and be large than deal with my mom chastizing me for eating junk.

Really friends, how about we try this; next time we go anywhere just let me run behind the car. Or maybe I could borrow my neighbour (the cop's) handcuffs.

That way if my hands are out of commission they can't do what they do best; feed my mouth.

OR how about I steal her cop car that's sitting in front of the house.

THEN I'll be sent to my very own fat camp: jail.

I'd be getting:

-rationed food (which will probably be tossed on the floor every day by Ethel, the queen B of my all female prison)

-daily work outs (via me fighting off Ethel and her posse's sexual advances and the allotted daily yard time where i will again be constantly on the move away from Ethel and co.)

So send me all your addresses so I can write you jail mail.

I don't know much about how things work on the inside, but i'm pretty sure from the amount of cop tv I watch I'll have computer access so i'll still be able to blog.

i'm off for a joyride.