the other fat friend

I'm Kelly.
I'm the other fat friend.
ugh. I don't want to even talk about it. But this is supposed to help. I was doing really well not eating my way into an Addition-Elle wardrobe until last night.
Instead of having Kate over to do a Biggest Loser workout video...

...I went over to my friends to look at wedding shit. On my way home, I was super uber pumped about being poor and single. To cheer myself up I stopped by my friends house and proceeded to get high. One thing led to another and I suddenly found myself in an A&W surrounded by Diet Root Beer in a lovely icy cold glass, perfectly spiced onion rings and a tasty swiss cheese covered veggie burger...

...all that is 9999 calories in case you were curious. But my high brain than proceeded to convince my dieting self that I had already fucked up royally so I might as well enjoy it. Shoppers Drug Mart Easter Candy/Chocolate sale, here I come...

...mini-eggs...lifesaver gummies...mini-eggs...cadbury cream eggs...mini-eggs...

Afterward I obviously felt gross and guilty. I was so mad at myself for succumbing to my food cravings. I still am.

So this morning I got up and weighed myself. I'm up a pound since yesterday. meh. I was just on such a roll for two and a half days. I had motivation and what I thought was a clear cut plan to actually succeed at losing weight this time. I guess my plan just needs a few more alterations.

In the past couple of weeks there have been two events that have lead me to believe that NOW is the time that I am FINALLY going to change the way I eat and (don't) exercise before I find myself lying in a made-to-order, shipped from Alabama, doublewide coffin.
The first being that my friend is going to be in one of those before and after weight loss ads. They picked her off the street and asked her if she wanted to lose weight. Funny, because if they did that to me I would have started crying and been like "You..snff...think...snff, snff...I'm faaaaat....!!...but yes I will do it...". But anyways she's doing it and I am so jealous because they're gonna help her and give her all the shit to do it. Books, pills, trainers, nutritionists etc, etc. So basically it's like the reverse of "fattening up your pig for the fair/slaughter", but they're probably not gonna kill her. I say probably because when I looked up the diet pills I found a lot of this: Hydroxycut linked to other cases of liver damage
...I'm sure she'll be fine. And if not, I hear you get real, real skinny after you die.

The other reason being my counsellor made me fill out this survey...

Are You a Compulsive Overeater?
Welcome to Overeaters Anonymous. This series of questions may help you determine if you are a compulsive eater.

1. Do you eat when you’re not hungry?
2. Do you go on eating binges for no apparent reason?
3. Do you have feelings of guilt and remorse after overeating?
4. Do you give too much time and thought to food?
5. Do you look forward with pleasure and anticipation to the time when you can eat alone?
6. Do you plan these secret binges ahead of time?
7. Do you eat sensibly before others and make up for it alone?
8. Is your weight affecting the way you live your life?
9. Have you tried to diet for a week (or longer), only to fall short of your goal?
10. Do you resent others telling you to “use a little willpower” to stop overeating?
11. Despite evidence to the contrary, have you continued to assert that you can diet “on your own” whenever you wish?
12. Do you crave to eat at a definite time, day or night, other than mealtime?
13. Do you eat to escape from worries or trouble?
14. Have you ever been treated for obesity or a food-related condition?
15. Does your eating behavior make you or others unhappy?

Have you answered yes to three or more of these questions? If so, it is probable that you have or are well on your way to having a compulsive eating problem. We have found that the way to arrest this progressive disease is to practice the Twelve-Step recovery program of Overeaters Anonymous.

...so I filled it out. I may have gotten like 11 out of 14...None of your business.

So, that's enough for now.

I need to go swallow a gust of wind for breakfast.

Peace Out, Bitches.
Kelly